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Memories by whipsersoftheworld

It all comes back in a rush, this lost memory plays itself back in the theater of my mind. All of a sudden I find myself again, as if I was torn from a dream. I find tears on my face. I’m crying and I can’t stop. And I think how much better things were back then, when innocence was abundant and life wasn't so lifelike.

I found it on a day like any other, checking my Facebook, something I do regularly. I had the computer open to my Mom’s Page, completely oblivious as my hands deftly clicked an album titled ‘Kids Pics.’ A picture popped up of me and my sister when we were younger. I looked at the next picture, and then the next. Taking in each snapshot of my childhood with ease, then moving on. “Click, click... click . . . . . .” That’s when I saw it. The picture that kindled a flame that had been smothered under a cloak of self-deception for years.

Now it burns brightly before my tired eyes and wraps me in it’s contents, sweeping me away to that day 5 years ago, a day that was previously lost to my recollection.

A breath of crisp, cool, Autumn air. My Mom is sitting beside me. We are in the backyard of our house. “... that's why I don’t believe in such things.” She said, smiling at me with a kind of fondness only a mother can have. It used to confuse me, how much a mother cares for her children. I couldn't comprehend how anyone could love someone so much. But I knew I liked it. That feeling of being loved. My Mom was my best friend; I could tell her everything and she always seemed to understand just what I meant. She made me feel grown up. How she talked about the world and its workings. She would listen to my opinions as if they truly mattered. As if I could honestly make a difference. We were having a conversation of that sort now. Me telling her how I felt about things, while she listened and showed her approval. We laughed as she pulled out the camera. “Look at our feet!” She said. And took a picture of our feet together in the grass. “I love it.” She stated enthusiastically. “Me too!” I added. She talked and I listened with content, she was so passionate when she spoke, like she was enlightened with knowledge. And I thought, when I grow up I want to be just like Mommy...

That’s when the memory fades and I come crashing back to reality at an astonishing pace. Tears filled my vision as I mourned the loss of a time when reality didn't have such a bitter taste, because as the world changed, my life changed too.

It's funny how your childhood is always a warm and gentle place in retrospect, and we don't realize how much we miss it until it's gone...

I've never written anything for Deviantart before, but I felt that the caring people of Deviantart deserved to see this. After all, you were the first to see the picture that triggered this event, you should be the first to know about it. I hope it touches you as much as it touched me.
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Submitted on
November 15, 2012
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